you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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