As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
