you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
