it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
