Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
