No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
