just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
