Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
