just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
