Can i not drive my cunt home
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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