just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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