I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
ok first of all what the fuck
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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