Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
