I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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