he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize