He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
