Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
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