3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
