Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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