im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Me too!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
