Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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