She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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