once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
