so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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