Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
