don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
