Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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