When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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