so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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