why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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