And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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