Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
