when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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