Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
