I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
