I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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