look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
