You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
