Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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