Tell her she can't have a vagina
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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