My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
