Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
