Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize