it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
