Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize