wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
