My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
