chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
