I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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