There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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