U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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