I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well I just put wine in my tea
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
