I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
