She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Success! We fucked roommates!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
