Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
