Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
