I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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