I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I want to have your abortion
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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