using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
